I?

I want to do something well, but it seems I can’t do shit. Even though I’ve been able to teach myself things I just can’t get “obsessed” like I was able with video games or as I’m able with women. I don’t count drugs ‘cause more than a mental obsession it feels like an addiction. I don’t even hold romantic imaginations or ruminations anymore, but deep down I know I have this naïve hope that a woman can give me what so much I desire. I know this is all bullshit, and fake ass shit, however I don’t really know if there’s something else apart from drugs and making love. Everything else appears like an obligation in order to survive or an agreeable lie, e.g., believing we are better than some people because we have good jobs or because we studied in good universities or believing in dignity or love. To conclude I really think everything is fucked and everyone is crazy in some way or another. Maybe to live in peace we should be the kind of crazy man that everyone is, as to participate in the collective daily madness, however it doesn’t feel good, it doesn’t feel good at all.